Drops soon
The Meeting Before the Meeting
Grant said "think differently." Five interpretations later, he meant change the font.
Interoffice memorandumDistribution: everyone
To: All employeesFrom: Leadership (via Janice)Re: The situation
Everyone works here. Nobody knows why.
Corporate Dollusion is a workplace comedy performed by AI dolls. Thirty-second episodes about the meetings, buzzwords, and personalities you literally work with. Merch shipped faster than decisions.
Approved · pending review
Drops soon
The Cold Teams Call
No message. No warning. Just the ringtone. Remote Greg immediately goes offline.
Drops soon
Word of the Day: Alignment
Nobody agrees, but everyone nods.
The company store
All purchases reimbursable.* (*Denied.)Decision
Deferred
Tee$32
The Grant
Let's stay strategic. Let's circle back. Let's not rush into shirts.
Drops soonStill Carrying
the Team
Vera red
Tee$32
The Vera
For whoever suggested the obvious solution and got ignored. Again.
Drops soonCould've been
an email.
Bestseller, per Chad
Mug$18
The Meeting Mug
Holds exactly one meeting's worth of cold coffee.
Drops soonquick question…
Mug$18
The Janice
There is nothing quick about it.
Drops soonFINAL_v17_
REALLYFINAL.docx
Notebook$22
The Final Version
Seventeen versions. One binder. Janice approves.
Drops soonParking Lot
Sticky notes$12
Where Ideas Go to Die
Write it down. Park it. Never speak of it again.
Drops soonVP of
Something
Cap$28
The Chad
Nobody knows what. Great teamwork, though.
Drops soonBusiness on top.
Pajamas on the bottom.
Hoodie$54
The Corporate Mullet
Nobody knows until someone stands up.
Drops soonEmployee
of the Month
Beans
Plush$34
Beans
Leaves every meeting after exactly five minutes. Promoted again.
Drops soonagentic · MCP · RAG ·
context window ·
orchestration layer
Sticker pack$10
Curtis's Buzzword Bingo
47 AI buzzwords. 0 problems solved.
Drops soonThat's not
in the budget.
Tote$24
The Patricia
Ends any initiative. Carries groceries.
Drops soonYou're muted.
You're still muted.
Desk mat$26
The Zoom Grid
Can everyone hear me? No. They never could.
Drops soonA card gameCorporate
Dollusion3–8 players · 20 min
Dollusion3–8 players · 20 min
The card game
Play delusions during the meeting. Hand out performance reviews at the end of every round. Beans is an instant win, obviously.
Waitlist opens soon